by Helena Grant | Dec 20, 2018
It’s not about the THING we are buying. It’s about the process of purchasing it, the decision-making, the experience.
This slightly philosophical statement comes from someone going through a massive phase of self-forgiveness.
For a long time I’ve been hiding behind my shame. And guilt. Two beasts of the same genus, separate species.
Here are the facts:
I love clothes.
I love new things.
I love to spend money until it’s gone.
You might imagine where this leads me.
You might also imagine how this might influence my work as a personal and brand stylist and my relationship to what I do.
I almost didn’t answer the calling to be a stylist because of a deep fear that it would propagate what I identified as an issue a long time ago.
How could helping women buy things help me with my problem of buying shit all the time?
Well, it’s actually helped a lot and on a recent Thursday morning in Boston, I had to break a vow I had made to myself and to my audience to not buy anything new until January – that the month when wardrobe investment is at its best due to retailers unloading inventory with massive sales and promotions.
What follows is an account of my experience at the Downtown Crossing TJMaxx which will forever hold a place in my heart.
Some of the content is painstakingly precise in describing (almost) everything I tried on, the pricing and, most importantly, the Q&A process behind what I eventually purchased.
There is entertainment mixed in with my insights and you might benefit from reading it because strong, distinctive personal style is all about strong, distinctive decision-making.
If you read on, thank you. Feel free to skim or just skip to the next set of dotted lines to get to the juicy bit. The TJMaxx-Induced Awakening. For just $24.99.
I needed new gloves. Plain black leather gloves, preferably lined with some sort of insulating material – wool always best. I dropped mine somewhere, my treasured ones and in the face of this loss, and with very cold, chapped hands, I allowed myself an excursion to TJMaxx to find a new pair.
I walked into the fluorescent fashion oasis with a mission. Black leather gloves or bust.
I was determined. Emboldened by my pledge to budget for the January sales at Wrentham.
But, I quickly strayed.
Of course the bags caught my attention. I’m currently interviewing for a new companion carryall and I prefer to meet this sort of purchase in person first.
Scanning the aisles of satchels, backpacks and crossbodies I reminisced about the days I would go and photograph the hardware and details in these very wire-racked, overstuffed walkways seeking inspiration when I felt stuck creating my own designs.
Handbags turned to belts – I was still in accessories so I was on the right path to finding my new gloves.
Or so I thought.
Either way I allowed myself a moment to pause at the belts. I tell all my clients to always go to the belt section and scan for something unique and preferably leather –I love a good belt and have a serious love affair with this particular wardrobe staple.
I was able to move on from the bags but it was hard not to consider the blue snakeskin print belt that was $3.99. Only size large and extra large left but it was cool, unique and even if a few sizes too big I thought it would be worth trying to wear it with a sweater dress by tying the extra length into a half knot.
I rolled it into my right hand, my focus now broken, my passion for style ignited, my pulse quickening as I thought of all the ways I could incorporate this inexpensive piece into my closet.
Maybe I could create a post about this belt? It would add some extra pizazz to my current belt collection. Maybe it would become a mainstay? Perhaps it would solve all my problems?
I found a saleswoman as I rounded the corner into lingerie and jumped at the opportunity to ask a human where to find what I was really in the store to purchase. She led me part of the way there and motioned further into the abyss.
Thanking her I made a visual note of where she had motioned but doubled back because I had seen a leopard print faux fur martini shaker that would be a perfect client gift.
Belt and martini shaker in either hand I was back on track to the glove section.
It took every ounce of me to put on the blinders past the Runway section but there was work to be done! Even one quick look for me is fatal.
The first pair of gloves that struck me was black leather with blue/black faux fox fur cuffs. They had an extra seam along the inside of the fingers so they made my hands look bulky and though I liked the flair, my go-to winter coat fell a little too long and mashed the fur. Interference.
I rounded the corner and tried a pair of leather ones with corseting running from the cuff down the back of the hand. Tech compatibility made them desirable and the lining was soft but polyester. I tried them on and my coat cuffs truncated the detailing. No good.
I returned to the wall and scanned again – a pair of genuine leather, black perforated ones jumped out at me. Wool lined. Made in Italy. Perfect. And at $24.99 so the most reasonable of the three I had considered.
I had found what I was looking for but I had already worked hard that morning and thought I might reward myself with a little meander, a detour on the way to the cash register.
HUGE mistake.
The TJMaxx vortex had already tempted and ensnared its lulled prey.
Gloves flowed into scarves and, as with belts, I often recommend checking out the scarf section because you never know what you might find.
Heaps of infinity scarves and of faux fur muffs cascaded down the wall. A leopard one with a dark grey beanie attached by plastic tab caught my eye. There was no price tag but I figured it couldn’t cost anymore than $20. Maybe this one would appease my ache for something new and fresh?
To look at myself in the mirror for an analysis, I had to make my way into the Runway section – right back on the highway to the DANGER ZONE.
The beanie was cute but a bit too tight. I knew it would leave me with a severe hathead even if the way it fit my head made my bangs look super cute. I loved the cozy feel of the neck muff but these thoughts made me question its practicality:
1) Respiration and it feeling “wet” from breathing on it
2) How warm was it really? It felt warm but I envisioned a solid Boston Wind whipping right through it and
3) What the hell to do with it when I wasn’t wearing it? It would be like carrying around a stuffed animal if it wasn’t around my neck.
As I considered all these questions while looking in the mirror I decided the muff and beanie could be left behind when…
…there it was.
An off-the-shoulder Elizabeth and James dress. Bright red.
On clearance for $39.00.
My heart skipped a beat.
Body con and bold. Beautiful, a well-established designer known for quality and marked down to bargain-basement pricing.
Style angels were blaring their trumpets.
The dam was breached. If I was going to try it on I might as well try on something else.
Very quickly my arms were full and they were cranky under the weight of the garments. Also, my brain was screaming at me.
What about your pledge?
What about your promise to invest in personal and business development over clothes?
What are you doing to yourself?
But how could I not at least try the items even if I was questioning my integrity.
I wondered if WikiHow has a post on how to cultivate integrity.
Stationed in a dressing room my efficient stylist side kicked in and I began filing through the items quickly starting with dresses. The red dress was a bombshell, as expected, though skewed towards the hussie side and I quickly realized the stain on the sleeve was not the only defect; the back of the neck hem was nearly torn to shreds. It was salvageable, I could repair it and I imagined getting lots of attention at hubs’ holiday work holiday gathering.
Definitely in the consideration pile.
A Theory cable knit sweater dress was up next and at first glance seemed just the thing I would love to live in now and through the winter months but taking it off, I turned into a static cling commercial. No good though somehow the $117 clearance rack price tag swayed me and I kept it in the consideration pile.
The Velvet Vince slipdress dipped low in the back. Too revealing and not at all versatile even if it was a “steal” at $69.00.
Next onto the blouses. The silk rag and bone tie neck (Oh, how I love tie necks) assured me that it was silk but still felt like polyester and I just couldn’t envision myself ever being excited to wear it.
Next.
A poof-shoulder denim Paige button-down johnny collar– I had to ask myself do I like it for me or because I think I will get a compliment on it?? Only $39.00 but I knew it would not make it into next season and the poof sleeves wouldn’t work under layered under a sweater.
Which brought me to the sweaters.
I loooooove, love looooooove sweaters. Especially cashmere. I’m a total sucker. And this Skull Cashmere sweater did something to me. The perfect blend of everything cool and cosy. This was the piece that led me to check all my account balances and consider moving money around.
I could have done it.
Then I consulted my inner wisdom.
My typical MO is to say yes but I’m often in a position to say yes to everything and this time, it felt different – purchasing this super cute sweater I could see myself wearing multiple times would invalidate everything I had promised myself, and my audience, I was doing.
I asked myself a series of questions – the deliberation had begun.
Do I need this sweater?
No answer.
Will I regret not buying this sweater?
No Answer
Will I feel better NOT buying this sweater today?
YESSSSSSS.
And so, I put everything back on hangars and returned the 10-items card to the nice lady playing dressing room sentinel.
Nothing today? She asked. What about that red dress?
I showed her the damage and she said they shouldn’t even be selling it – ask for a steeper discount.
No, I said. I’m just here for the gloves.
I had the cashier cut the tags so I could wear the gloves out. The truth was, even the $24.99 was a stretch for me at that very moment but the purchase felt different than any I had made. Maybe ever.
I experienced true integrity and knew I had given myself the proof I needed that I could walk into a temptation vortex like TJMaxx and, wearing black leather gloves, stick to my proverbial guns.
As I headed for the escalator, the warm winter sun was streaming in through the massive glass window and it caught my face at an angle that made me feel like this decision was the beginning of something truly remarkable.
This was one small step closer to truly embodying the CEO who knows how to shop with integrity and buy a pair of leather gloves. Period.
Helena will be hosting a group shopping excursion at the Wrentham Outlets in early January. To sign up for more information email hg@hgrantstyle.com.
by Helena Grant | Nov 9, 2018
{Shop this look: Lalla Bee (use code HGRANTSTYLE20 for 20% off)}
IT IS UP TO US
Hello, WHOA-MAN!
Yeah, that’s right. You are a bombshell. A knockout. A GODDESS.
And I mean, come on. We all know woman came first.
(Sorry, Adam. You’ve been lied to all these years).
So I want to know…when did women start shaming themselves? Where did we go so awry and move away from our essence? Our POWER?
I know it’s on the INSIDE but it is up to us to change the conversation with ourselves.
Starting Monday, November 26th I’m hosting a because we women are miraculous machines and when we honor the vessel given to us, our bodies respond in amazing ways.
Join me in this 7-day online summit of everything that makes us *WHOA-MEN* beautiful.
{Shop this look: La Fille Colette (10% discount included in this unique link)}
How will you fete your fabulousness? Let me help you. Get ready to accessorize and ignite your femininity.
Below is what I wrote in response to a recent incident when I bore witness to my 4 year-old daughter being body-shamed. It was perfectly innocent but it was not ok.
And so I truly believe…
IT IS UP TO US
It is up to us
to change the conversation –
alter shame and perspective
turn them into celebration.
Different is not bad,
change is not the enemy;
uniqueness makes us powerful
we are a force all our own.
It is up to us
to embrace who we are
as we are, eternally
without restraint.
Our strength resides within
where it is easy to protect,
and sometimes hide,
because that is what we think we must do.
It is up to us –
the we of femininity,
from which all life originates,
to change the conversation
WITH OURSELVES.
{Shop this look: Yellowcake Shop (use code HGRANTSTYLE10 for 10% discount)}
I keep wondering where it began, this conversation that leads women to self-loathing.
We can blame so many external influences and though i don’t deny that other people’s words have a profound impact (I’ve been the victim of body-shaming, too) I feel all the more called to empower each one of us against the harshest critic of all – ourselves.
When we embrace who we are, as we are, we are more powerful and our bodies (and brains) respond positively to our desires.
But when we beat ourselves up, when we fixate on the “fat” and “imperfections” we hinder our progress.
Let’s do something about it.
to join my 7-Day Body Positivity Celebration
All you need to do is submit your email (and click for the double opt-in) and on Monday, November 26th I will be sending daily emails with inspiration and insight on how to love who and what you are RIGHT NOW.
It’s about choice and how we chose to support ourselves in our efforts. Choice in how we express ourselves.
SHOP THESE LOOKS by FEMALE DESIGNERS with discounts off any purchase
#1 La Fille Colette (10% discount included in this unique link)
#2 Lalla Bee (use code HGRANTSTYLE20 for 20% off)
#3 Yellowcake Shop (use code HGRANTSTYLE10 for 10% discount)
by Helena Grant | Nov 1, 2018
You know the feeling the instant you put on the garment.
You are powerful. Unstoppable. Ready for anything.
And it doesn’t have to be an anomaly.
With a wardrobe comprised of carefully selected, well-curated pieces, you can step into any outfit, any time and experience the confidence you need to tackle any day in every way.
It’s not about quantity. It’s about QUALITY.
Not long ago, for me, it was the opposite. I was shopping all the time and had serious closet overwhelm. Every time I got dressed, all my clothes would end up on the bed.
The process went something like this:
Vacate the closet… exhaust myself putting together something that might get compliments because a lot of it was new.
Shove everything back in the closet.
Rinse.
Repeat.
In my journey away from those slightly {ahem} “shopaholic” tendencies, I now embrace that the overstuffed racks of a fast fashion store will not solve my problems.
What we wear says so much more without speaking and I have found that an empowered feeling comes from garments that stand for something; clothes with a deeper message and meaning; clothes that support me in my life and lifestyle because they are glamorous no matter what I am doing whether it is gliding to a client meeting or running around with my 4-year-old.
When you are curating your wardrobe, one that allows you to dress intuitively, I recommend starting with a foundation of pieces that are both fabulous and versatile.
Here are my picks:
1) UNIVERSALLY FLATTERING DRESS: dresses are ALWAYS my go-to because the eliminate decision fatigue: one garment. Zip. Done. Accessorize as necessary. And there’s a dress style that looks good on EVERYONE and is appropriate for every occasion: cap-sleeve, natural waist, flared skirt. One of my personal favorites for this type of design is the line called Lalla Bee because everything she creates is perfection on its own.
The dress I am wearing (pictured here) is even more memorable when I #PutABeltOnIt and finish the look with tights, booties and a metallic blazer.
The embroidered florals add an extra feminine touch, the stretch in the sleeves means I can hail a cab as easily as I can lift my 42-lbs mini-me.
And the pockets…ohhhh, the POCKETS! Set me free! Deep enough and hidden between the folds of the skirt, ready to take up the weight of my car key, phone, a lipstick.
Best of all, this is a design that make me feel like doing a twirl. Clothes are a celebration – they should make you want to dance as quickly as they should make you feel like you can take on the world.
Shop this dress and all other Lalla Bee styles for a 20% discount!
Code: HGRANTSTYLE20
2) SWEATER THAT FEELS LIKE A ROBE: There are those items you feel like you could live in – they are so versatile that they look equally fabulous with your yoga clothes as they do with jeans or a dress and boots.
You try it on and you just know. You think: I can’t live without it and what did I do before I had it? It wraps around you perfectly, cinches at the waist and highlights all your best assets making you feel like the goddess that you are.
This particular Portmanteau was partly inspired by me when I styled the fashion show for La Fille Colette. This powerhouse designer has been on my radar since 2016. Her designs are unique, forward thinking and, best of all, her clothes are sustainably made in America with incredible craftsmanship and quality materials. The Portmanteau is the newest addition to her line and I plan to live in it every season from now to eternity.
Shop La Fille Colette for the Portmanteau and all other style with THIS LINK and receive a 10% discount off your purchase.
3) OUTERWEAR THAT PROTECTS AND PROJECTS: Wherever you live, you likely need some sort of outerwear whatever your geography.
We on the East Coast (i.e. New England), multiple coats and jackets are required to span the range of weather we encounter. But the one style that is sure to be worn incessantly? The Classic Trench Coat. For me this one by Yellowcake was love at first glance. The minute I put it on I knew I had a lifer with its impeccable tailoring, thick and sturdy twill, cavernous pockets and best of all, stretch along the underside of the sleeves. I wear it as a topper and as a dress – it’s that amazing.
Go ahead, rain on my parade. In this trench I will never feel a drop.
I work with these labels of an affiliate basis because I BELIEVE wholeheartedly in the women behind the brands.
I know them personally and I know their products well. Because you are a part of my amazing audience, I can offer you beneficial discounts on these above listed items that will surpass most of what is currently in your wardrobe.
**Beware: WATERFALL EFFECT in the direction of a well-curated closet is a distinct possibility.**
Here are the links with the discount codes again for easy shopping:
UNIVERSALLY FLATTERING DRESS
Code: HGRANTSTYLE20 for 20% OFF all styles
SWEATER THAT FEELS LIKE A ROBE
10% discount automatically applied on all purchases using this unique code
OUTERWEAR THAT PROTECTS AND PROJECTS
Code: HGRANSTYLE10 for 10% off all products
by Helena Grant | Oct 17, 2018
It is up to us to change the conversation with ourselves.
There are things we say without speaking and the messages ripple outwards.
It is up to us to take responsibility for being our own everyday superhero.
The message we send to the world, and most importantly to ourselves, must be intentional, pure and nurturing. Our power resides within, where it is easy to protect, and hide, but that outdated and ineffective approach is ready for a rebrand.
It is time to take the leap, to support one another by first cultivating our own, individual expansion.
There is no collective without the individual.
Every day we make choices and when you dress intuitively, decisions become more fluid. You have more time and energy to allot to the important things in life like taking care of yourself and re-distributing well-being.
Take the leap.
Don’t wait for a costume change.
Wear your superhero logo on the outside for all to see; display your strength of choices. Celebrate who you are by embracing the magnificent machine that is your body.
Be your own Wonderwoman, Superwoman, Captain Marvel. Be a changemaker by supporting changemakers.
When we work together, we are emboldened.
This blog officially launches my affiliation with female-owned, sustainability-minded brands.
Pictured here is the Yellowcake Classic Trench which I wear as a dress and a rain jacket. It’s sexy, versatile and perfectly equipped to take me from the concrete jungle of Boston to the Connecticut countryside playground. The detachable hood and deep pockets make me feel like all buildings are only as high as a single bound.
Here is your assignment, if you choose to accept it:
CLICK HERE to purchase the Yellowcake Classic Trench
CODE: HGRANTSTYLE10 (for a 10% discount)
by Helena Grant | Oct 3, 2018
Flat
Lift
Sneaker
Bootie
Think about how amazing your feet are. As someone who used to hate mine I’ve come a long way from thinking they would be better off without the toes that are exact replicas of my father’s (and all my relatives on his side of the family –strong Irish genes, you know).
But really, your feet support you in so many ways – and in all we do from running, jumping, skipping and dancing to just standing still and staying upright.
And the best way to support our feet in supporting us?
Fabulous shoes, of course.
This does not have to mean wearing stilettos all day long every day (though if that’s your thing, go for it!).
When I say fabulous shoes, I mean footwear that supports you in your life and lifestyle – shoes that are both function and aesthetically appealing.
I have been in a lot of wardrobes. I have seen a lot of clothes and many, many pairs of shoes and, having danced a million miles already, I have identified four basic styles that are at the foundation of any complete wardrobe:
FLAT – your go-to style. A flat can be worn just as easily with jeans as a dress (which is what you want out of all your shoes. Versatility is KEY). Personally I love a pointy-toe ballet flat because it elongates the leg.
LIFT – it’s a well-know fact that high heels were originally invented by a man with the absolute intention of changing a woman’s physiology – no wonder you feel different in a heel. Specifically I say LIFT in this case because it does not have to be some absurd hindrance of a stiletto. Instead look for something that brings the height without sacrificing your ability to walk. Think: wedge, kitten, platform or block heel. And, if you do opt for a stiletto, ensure the “pitch” is manageable which means the distance between the heel of the shoe and the fold of the foot is not too short i.e. the longer the distance, the lower the pitch, the more comfortable the shoe.
SNEAKER – serves many purposes and even if you “don’t exercise” a good sneaker – especially a loafer-style (something with more flair that foam) can serve you well for outfits that run the gamut from dog walking to brunching to mastering your daily commute. The key with sneakers is to opt for fancier materials (think satin and pony hair) to keep them looking more fashion forward rather than gym rat schlubby dumpy.
BOOTIE – a style great for all seasons, all weather, all outfits. Look for something that hits right above the ankle bone and all the better if it has a stacked heel which helps distribute your weight and makes the booties more durable.
The real trick of all this is finding just the right shoe –something this is distinctive and yet highly functional. I have personally tried out many, many pairs and am a huge fan of www.shoesofprey.com for their incredible selection of made-to-order options.
by Helena Grant | Sep 26, 2018
These “tenets” came to me as a proverbial download in March of 2018.
Mostly it’s advice I give myself – sometimes that is the best advice of all.
Presented in 4 parts:
ONE
1) (PL)EASE
2) BENEVOLENCE
3) HELP
4) HOME
5) RELISHES
6) CHANNEL
7) LEARN
8) SHARE
9) CELEBRATE
10) CAN
TWO
1) (PL)EASE – say it with ease
2) Open-hearted benevolence
3) Help others, and self, when needed and possible
4) Feels at home anywhere and helps others feel the same
5) Relishes earthly possessions but is not tied to them
6) Values health above all else
7) Views self as an open channel to give and receive love and light; the body is a temple, the home for the soul
8) Knows there is always more to learn and isn’t afraid to get “dirty” doing it
9) Looks at each day as a reason to celebrate
10) I ALWAYS KNOW I CAN (I never thought I couldn’t)
THREE
1) (PL)EASE – say it with ease; this word opens the world and literally makes everything easier – say it to others, say it to yourself.
2) Open-hearted benevolence – you ever know where you can do good or from where, or whom, good will be done to you. Do good, be good but do what is best for you.
3) Help others, and self, when needed and possible – you never know who you can help or, conversely, who can help you.
4) Feels at home anywhere and helps others feel the same – observe your surroundings, assimilate and stand out with confidence; take care of those who feel less comfortable than you.
5) Relishes earthly possessions but is not tied to them – enjoys clothing, accessories, luxuries of all sorts, experiences, travel but nothing defines her or weighs her down. The saying holds weight here: you can’t take it with you so live life to the fullest NOW. Enjoy with joy.
6) Values health above all else – the body is a temple, the home for your soul. Worship it, love it and it will love you back.
7) Views self as an open channel to give, and receive, love and light
8) Knows there is always more to learn – education never ends; expansion is eternal.
9) Looks at each day as a reason to celebrate – everyday truly is your BIRTHDAY. There was no assurance you would wake up today and what if today is your final day on earth? Do you want to spend it denying who you are? What you can contribute
10) I ALWAYS KNOW I CAN – total confidence, no expectations, on her one schedule. I never thought I couldn’t
FOUR
1) (PL)EASE – this word opens the world, everything is easy when you open up Tom needing help. It’s easier to say thank you but please is eternally more profitable. EASE comes from saying PLEASE.
2) Open-hearted benevolence – you never know who you can help, you ever know who you can help, or conversely, who can help you. Everyone has something to teach us about the world, about ourselves. Keep an open heart, an open mind.
3) Help others, and self, when needed and possible – do good, be good but do what is best for you.
4) Feels at home anywhere and helps others feel the same – observe your surroundings, assimilate and stand out with confidence; take care of those who feel less comfortable than you; build confidence in others and show that you are comfortable anywhere. LEAVE NO TRACE OTHER THAN ON THE HEARTS OF THOSE AROUND YOU.
5) Relishes earthly possessions but is not tied to them – enjoys clothing, accessories, luxuries of all sorts, experiences travel but nothing defines her or weighs her down. Experiences spirituality in the ritual of getting dressed and expressing individuality.
6) Views self as an open channel to give, and receive, love and light by valuing health above all else – the body is a temple, the home for your soul. Worship it, love it and it will love you back. If you don’t have your health, you have nothing; if you don’t have health, channels shut down.
7) Knows there is always more to learn – education never ends; expansion is eternal.
8) SHARE – express who you are and it will inspire others to do the same.
9) Looks at each day as a reason to celebrate – everyday truly is a BIRTHDAY
10) Says: I ALWAYS KNOW I CAN – total confidence, no expectations, on her own schedule. Positivity translation of: I never thought I couldn’t. Leave room for deciding when but always knowing you CAN if you decide you WILL.
Photography by Sonya Highfield
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